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I SAW JESUS FACE TO FACE


In the year 2000 I had a dream. In the dream I saw a door. The door opened. My Dad walked out and approached me (My dad passed away in 2006). He informed me that someone wanted to see me. That’s all he said. I knew who wanted to see me. I knew it was Jesus and that He was on the other side of that door.


~ COME TO THE TABLE OF THE LORD ~


I followed my Dad through that door. On the other side of that door was Jesus. He was seated at the head of a large, rectangular wooden table, much like the one I saw in my first dream. It was the same scene. Jesus, a rough wooden table and wooden chairs.


My Dad sat down at the table as well. He sat at the lower head of the table opposite Jesus. I saw my mom sitting at the table as well. She was seated beside my Dad at his right. My parents were both shining with a joy that was beaming like light. They shone so, because they were in the presence of Jesus Christ.


~ SEEING JESUS ~


When I saw Jesus, I was filled with joy, excitement, desire, and indescribable awe.


I walked over to Him, because I knew He was the one who sent for me. Once I laid eyes on Jesus, I couldn’t take them off of Him. My focus was glued to Him. I sat down beside Him at the table at His left side. When I did, He moved His chair closer to me. I drew near to Him, then He drew near to me.


I could see in His countenance that He wanted to see me. He wanted to look at me. He was very happy to be in my presence. He missed me. I could see it clearly. He desired me. He yearned for me. I was in awe of this.


Suddenly my Dad exclaimed, “It’s Jesus!” He could not contain His joy and excitement. He presented the Lord to me in as much awe as I was in. It wasn’t until my Dad said those words that I looked directly into Jesus’ eyes. When I did, my undoing began.


~ UNDONE BY HIS FACE ~


His features were rugged and handsome. His hair was shoulder length, wavy, thick and dark brown. He did not have a beard in this dream either. His eyes were deep, dark brown. I studied His face in wonderment. His whole body size was altogether larger than the average mortal. He had strong wide shoulders and He wore a rough, white/cream, one-piece garment down to His feet.


I gazed in adoring awe at His features. Although they were different than the first dream, what I saw in His eyes was absolutely the same. This was Jesus Christ my Savior and I KNEW it. I recognized my Lord. “My sheep know Me.”

As I beheld Him in mind boggling wonderment, I was thinking thoughts. I thought to myself, “Wow… it’s really Him! I’m truly in His literal presence. Finally! Finally I see the Lord! This is what He looks like! This is what it feels like!” I could reach out and touch Him if I dared. I knew it was Him from the deepest depths of my soul.


He was looking back at me with the same intensity, beholding me as well. He had a gentle smile, but a serious gaze. His gaze was of love and immovable strength. He knew my pleasure in seeing Him. He allowed me to behold Him. He just let me stare at Him in awe while He stared back at me.


~ HE KNEW MY EVERY THOUGHT ~


I suddenly realized He knew my every thought. He knew my every emotion, desire and motivation. Nothing was hidden from Him. I was pleased with this. I knew I didn’t have to try to express my love and adoration with words, because He already knew. Words were useless in this face to face encounter, because He knew what my thoughts and feelings were before I would ever speak them and I knew He knew. We were communicating spirit to Spirit in deep immortal ways. Spoken words were totally useless. Words were too small a thing. The spiritual communication between us both was very intense as we were face to face with one another.


My mind was struck by astonishment, my soul was becoming undone and my spirit could only release floods of worship. Praise and worship were spontaneous reactions that began as soon as I laid eyes on Him. The only response to such everlasting perfection and glory can only be the deepest kind of gratitude, love and adoration equivalent to how much of Himself He reveals... hence the reason we fall on our faces as if dead when He manifests enough of Himself.


Humans do not have the strength in themselves to be such vessels for the equal spontaneous praise due Him. Unless His Spirit is there to strengthen us, we would die in the presence of His glory. Even those elders in Heaven who surround His throne fall on their faces and cast their crowns at His feet in response to who they see. The more of Himself He reveals, the more undone we are in worship, awe and the power of His manifested love. This is why humans are “slain in the Spirit” when they encounter Him.


He knew my worship. He received it unto Himself. He enjoyed it. My spirit, my soul and my mind continuously praised Him without words, full of rejoicing, love and awe. It was pouring forth from my utmost being like an unhindered fountain.

I felt so honored that He should appear to me and allow me to adore Him. I was astonished that He would allow me to see Him. I felt so privileged and so humbled. My humility expressed itself through worship and adoration. The greatest glory of Heaven after death has to be the everlasting privilege of being able to forever gaze into the face of Jesus. This is true “heaven”.

The feeling of it all was piercing. It severed through my being. The living Word was before me and His presence was a double edged sword searching me… knowing me, discerning my deepest thoughts and intentions. The sword pierced deeper and deeper. I thought these exact words, “He knows what I am thinking!” I rejoiced in this.

I contemplated this fact very deeply as I looked at His face, His gaze piercing deeper and deeper. “He knows what I am thinking… He knows I’m thinking the very thought that I know He knows what I’m thinking…”


My rejoicing suddenly turned to dread as the remembrance of my sin came to mind.


~ MORTIFIED SHAME ~


He knows my every thought! What if I had a bad thought?! I hoped I would not have any bad thoughts! I knew He knew I was thinking this! Dread increased. The battle for my thoughts commenced. I struggled immensely against bad thoughts at that moment. I fought against a filthy thought bombarding the threshold of my mind. I lost the battle. The evil thought was stronger and it broke through against all of my will and I immediately turned away from the Lord in the most mortified shame.


He was perfectly holy and pure, and I was sinful and dirty. I was ashamed and horrified. That’s when the Holy Spirit urged me from within the deepest parts of my being to look into the eyes of Jesus, so I did.

What I beheld was the most powerful thing a mortal can behold. His eyes were fire!


~ EYES OF BLAZING FIRE! ~


I didn’t know anything about any scripture describing Christ’s eyes like fire at that time. I had never read the whole Bible before. At first sight I was shocked and confused by the appearance of fire in His eyes. But as I continued to stare into His eyes, I saw eternal love and power at increased levels and I knew the One I was beholding was the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, the Son of God Jesus Christ (See Isa. 6:9).


My eyes locked to His. I was arrested and held captive by the fire in His eyes. His fiery gaze blasted away every evil thought and all anxiety I was previously experiencing was vanquished.


~ THE APPEARANCE OF THE FIRE IN HIS EYES ~


He had a single flame of fire in each eye, no pupil. His eternal gaze burned into my soul. It blasted away every demonic oppression coming against me. I saw wrath and love in His fiery eyes. Wrath against the enemy; love for me. He didn’t condemn me for the foul thoughts which plagued me and invaded my mind, instead He mercifully and lovingly delivered me from them. He consumed them with the fire in His blazing eyes.


I stared into His eyes for a long time and watched the fire burn. His eyes were in constant motion. The fire changed, blazed and swirled. The colors constantly changed from yellowish to orangish. The flames changed from single flame to swirling fire. They were small flames in each eye, no pupil, then a pupil would appear and the flames began to swirl with orange and yellow flames. Burning and blazing fire. I saw love and eternity and Omnipotent power.


I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to look away. I was overwhelmed. He continued to smile gently as He gazed deep into my eyes and soul with unconditional love. My spirit/soul/mind began to rejoice and praise harder than before.


~ HIS BURNING EYES OF LOVE ~


His eyes of love were burning into my utmost being. I felt such intense LOVE. He loved me! It wasn’t that I just knew it now, I could feel it. I could see the love in His fiery eyes and now I could feel it tangibly pouring into me as He stared at me. I felt His love in every fiber of my body, soul, spirit and mind. I was being baptized in His love.


The longer I stared into the eyes of the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ, the more of His love I felt, the stronger it came on me and in me, and I began to love Him more and more. It was a whirlwind of love between us. It was an intense mixture of His love and mine, but more of His love, because only through His love did I have love. The mere fact that He loved me this way made me love Him. I loved Him, because He first loved me…. Again.


~ TOTALLY UNDONE BY HIS LOVE ~


This continued until I was becoming overwhelmed and some power came over me… a power that started in the middle of my utmost being and like a wave poured from out of my physical body. This powerful experience was not just happening in the “dream”, it happened to my body as it slept.


In the dream I put my head down as if bowing to Jesus in honor and my body suddenly collapsed down to the feet of Jesus and I began to cry. It was not a sad cry, I wept for His love. It was all I could do now. I was clinging on to His ankles, hugging His legs, feeling His unbelievable love for me, His incomprehensible power, knowing He knew what love I had for Him. No thoughts, just feeling He knew.


Then He put His hands on my head and said something about an anointing. And something happened like a rush going through me and I began to shake. I felt this in my physical body as well while it slept. This anointing straight from Christ’s hand was sent from dream to reality and this happened for a long time.

I finally got up and sat back in my chair. Jesus looked at me with a big smile filled with love, joy and excitement and He said, “I love you and something good is going to happen to you.” His voice was a drink of living waters; deep, masculine, gentle and perfect. A sound that holds the universe together. The way He looked at me and the smile He had was amazing.


Suddenly He was gone and I woke up.


♡♡♡

A drawing I made with pencil. This is simply a resemblance of what I saw.

Dare to seek His face. Be bold enough to gaze into the blazing eyes of your Savior. He died on a terrible cross to give you this access.

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